How Do I Stop My Mind From Racing?
When I’m anxious, it’s easy to think of all the what-if’s. What if I fail? What if he hates me?
It’s interesting to notice the kinds of questions I ask myself when I ruminate. Usually pretty negative things with nasty conclusions. Does my boss think I’m incompetent? Does she think I’m ugly? Am I even good enough?
The answer to each question or what-if can be pretty horrific. If I do fail it means my life is over! If she thinks I am ugly she won’t want another date! And then I get more anxious. And my mind spins faster with new awful questions. What can I do then? How do I impress him? Will I ever get it right? A pretty vicious cycle.
What questions are you asking when your mind races?
But – none of these answers are actually concretely true. We can’t prove any of them when we are sitting and ruminating. We just imagine they must be true, and our anxiety spirals as a result. I actually have to talk to my colleague to find out what they think of me. I am not in the future to know if I have failed yet.
How Do I Stop Catastrophizing?
If you find yourself ruminating with endless what if questions, try this instead.
Get curious about yourself.
Ask a different question.
Pick questions that you can actually contemplate and get answers to. Answers that your body can provide, if you explore yourself and pay attention to your own self.
Get still and ask yourself things like:
How does my body feel when I’m anxious?
What do I need right now?
What do I value?
What is my truth?
How do I want to show up in the world?
What kind of choice would feel good to me?
What do I want to do?
When you get an answer to one of these questions, notice what happens. Perhaps you have a sense of direction. Perhaps some ideas of what to do next. Perhaps you can take an action.
Replace Rumination With Curiosity
Being curious about yourself, asking helpful questions, and discovering real answers can help the cycle of rumination to stop. Instead of going in circles, we can find a way out and a way forward.
So next time you find yourself ruminating, notice what you are asking, and change the question to something you CAN answer. Give it a try!