MY STORY

July 2010. It was well past midnight as I sat on the couch in the darkened living room, looking out at the road.

My husband had stormed out earlier that day after throwing his wedding ring on the counter. He was now somewhere with his affair partner.

Was it only a week ago that our daughter died too? It seemed surreal.

My name is Naomi Yano. And although I have a private practice as a Registered Psychotherapist and Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist…I wasn’t immune to the trauma of loss on a major scale.

Before my children were born, I obtained my Master of Science in Couple and Family Therapy in 2006 - and shortly after I graduated, my then-husband and I made the decision to put my career on hold so I could stay home to raise our kids.

And then he had an affair.

And then my daughter died.

My life as I knew it crashed around me.

Frankly, it was hard to find resources for both parental loss or infidelity recovery. Especially geared towards single people. Most supports of support focused on those that have an intact relationship with two partners supporting one other….but that wasn’t mine.

Which means it was up to me to figure out how to heal myself.

Even with all the expertise and training, I still had to seek the support of someone else. I still had to read all the books, and attended a grief support group. I had to participate in my own personal therapy (and still do to this day). I looked online and found a support forum with others also healing from infidelity. I facilitated a peer support group for affair recovery. I practiced Mindfulness Meditation, completing the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction program in 8 weeks, meditating for an hour every day.

In short: healing myself was a priority in my life.

Is it a priority in yours?

When I was finally able to resume working as a clinician, I focused on helping others in similar situations, trying to recover from pain and loss, especially when they felt alone in it - like you might right now.

I never want anyone to feel as alone as I did. So I took courses to understand trauma, betrayal, grief and relationships, and the most effective way of helping my clients heal.

My approach integrates research from attachment theory and its impact on relationships and our own emotional experiences. I work primarily using Emotionally Focused Therapy by Sue Johnson, and have been influenced by mindfulness and self compassion teachers like Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach and Kristin Neff. I am also a big fan of Brené Brown and Dan Siegel.

Part of my journey to healing is writing my book, the first instalment of which is AffairyTales. In it, I detail my own personal journey and also give you the outsider-in view from a clinician’s perspective…so now you can heal alongside me as we handle our grief.

Together.

If you’re trying to make sense of what is happening and why…and find your way toward something better, you’re in the right place. You don’t have to be alone anymore.

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