Life begins where fear ends - Osho

I just hit “publish” on this website. And I am terrified.

It's been almost ten years since I discovered my ex-partner's affair and I am now telling my story and it scares me. I fear being judged, ridiculed, mocked...or just something really bad happening. I am taking a risk to share my story and I don't know how people will respond.

As a professional psychotherapist, I am well aware that clients can find me here. We are taught, as therapists, to be mindful of self disclosure and boundaries. What happens to all of that when I put my life out here for all to read? Is it foolish? I'm afraid it may be, but there's only way to find out.

"Life begins where fear ends" said Osho. I learned this earlier when my ex-husband left me. I thought I couldn't survive, I thought my world ended, I was full of fear. I didn't realize at the time, that when the fear would subside and I still stood, that I would be awake. More awake than I had ever been in my life. Everything in life suddenly looked different. I was alive in a way I had never experienced before. The fear was gone and I was a new person. I don't expect such a radical change this time, as I begin to share my story publicly. I still feel incredible fear of the unknown, but I know I will continue this new life when the fear subsides. I will face whatever arises (whether praise or criticism or both) and live the life of one telling their story in the face of fear. I have learned that being courageous is not about never feeling fear, it's about feeling it and moving forward in its presence. So here I am, and this is my story.

Photo by Sammie Vasquez at Unsplash